Expressing Desire in Japanese: 〜たい, 〜ほしい, 〜たがる
Japanese uses distinct grammatical forms to express desire: 〜たい for wanting to do an action, 〜ほしい for wanting a thing, and 〜たがる when describing someone else's apparent desire.
〜たい — want to do
〜たい attaches to the verb stem (drop ます) and works like an い-adjective. Use it for your own desires. To ask about someone else's desire, use 〜たいですか.
〜ほしい — want (a thing)
〜ほしい expresses wanting a noun. The desired item takes が (or は for contrast). It is an い-adjective at the end of the sentence.
〜てほしい — want someone to do
〜てほしい (te-form + ほしい) expresses wanting someone else to perform an action. The person is marked with に.
〜たがる — appears to want (third person)
Japanese avoids asserting others' internal states directly. 〜たがる (〜たい + がる) describes observed desire: "seems to want to". Use it when talking about third-person desires.
Common mistakes
友達がアイスを食べたい (asserting friend's desire directly)
Right友達がアイスを食べたがっている
In Japanese, you cannot directly assert another person's internal feelings using たい. Use たがる or add そうだ/ようだ to soften the claim: 食べたいようだ.
私は車がたい (misattaching たい to a noun)
Right私は車が欲しい
たい attaches to verb stems only. For wanting a noun (thing), use ほしい. For wanting to DO something, use verb-stem + たい.
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Can I use 欲しい for wanting actions, like "I want you to go"?
Not directly. 欲しい is for wanting nouns. To want someone to do something, use 〜てほしい (te-form + ほしい): 行ってほしい = "I want you to go."
Is 〜たい rude to use when asking someone?
When asking directly, 〜たいですか can sound blunt. Softer alternatives: 〜たいと思っていますか (are you thinking of…?), or simply offer options. In service situations, staff use 〜なさいますか to ask customers.